~LOVE & SACRIFICE MISUNDERSTOOD~

Its been so long I have not written something valuable for my blog. One day I was just surfing internet and I found a very beautiful article on 'Love' written by 'anonymous'. It gave me inspiration to take out my feelings about love which I always use to think is unique. I have lost my love in real life, in fact so far I haven't love truly someone or possible that I haven't found someone who I can love truly because of my unique definition of love.

I will post this article chapter wise. If you include all the chapters together, you can give a title to it 'LOVE & SACRIFICE MISUNDERSTOOD'.

~LOVE JUST IS~
Unless you are a therapist, a spiritualist or someone who has completely understood the way this world revolves, there is a good chance you believe that you have understood ‘love’ but lack ways to easily articulate it. I don’t mean to down play you in any way but I wrote this especially to empower you with thoughts that have been around for generations and ways to explain what love truly is.
Many of us have associated ourselves with love and ever since our teen years we have misunderstood being ‘in love’ with the actual true ‘love’. We recognize this when we tell our boy-friends or girl-friends that we’re ‘in love’ with them and when they are not around, we get upset; when they are with others, we compete for attention; or when they do something different from what we like, it troubles us. We even quantify love by saying ‘I love you more than you love me’. While this seems very cute in its own way, there is a big difference between what we express in the relationship and what love really is.

~THE REAL DIFFERENCE~
We have not understood ‘love’ the way it really is; but have experienced something called ‘in love’. ‘In Love’ is to receive love from the other person and is a dependence based relationship. In this relationship, we are attached to our own happiness but this happiness comes from their presence. It is obvious when we miss them if they are not around, but in truth we only miss them for the love that they give to us. By being dependent or attached in an adult relationship this way, we are setting ourselves up for pain. Any attempt to remove this dependence or attachment is always resisted by us and we know how hurtful it is when we don’t get what we want from them. We forget about what makes them happy and sometimes we can act possessive taking away the space they need. Barely do we realize that these problems are within ourselves first; that we are deficit in some way. While this may sound terrible, it really is not. In the real sense of the word, this is a stepping stone to eventually understand true love. Everyone walks this path.

~TRUE LOVE~
When we truly love someone, we only give love, not expect to receive any. We accept the person for who he or she is. This is the same as the unconditional love we talk about between a mother and her child. There is never a reason; we just love. When the time and person is right, we feel it deep within ourselves and nothing known physically to us can ever explain it. True love or unconditional love is unconditional acceptance of a person no matter what their actions dictate; but it does not mean unconditional acceptance of their actions; just the person. Please don’t read only into that line, there is more. We know that people change and their actions evolve over time. We have faith in them because we see in them a ‘them’ that they themselves cannot see. It’s just a matter of time before they figure themselves out through the many good and bad things they do; and trust me, they will consciously do almost every thing that today’s society or you considers bad. However, Love, in a relationship, is accepting them for who they are while expecting them to be the best they can be for themselves; not for you. Loving them is never about you; its about them. When they want you to let go, let them go, let them grow; your part is done. If you are looking for someone to love you, just remember the quote by Gandhiji, “Be the change you wish to see in the world” & like will attract like.

~WHAT LOVE ISN'T~

Love isn’t detachment or attachment but a fine balance between the two and knowing when to do either. Love never has reasons; but reasons have love. Love isn’t dependence but freedom to grow. Love isn’t denial but acceptance of self and self emotions. Even hate is love; its someone who’s upset because they didn’t get the love they needed; they are just asking to be loved. Even Jealousy is love, someone wanting the source of love and happiness that you have.
However, due to haste, desperation or just bad sources of information, we remain confused and continue creating reasons for why we should love. Magazines, surveys or compatibility ads are main sources of our wealth of toxic information. Loving someone for a reason is not true love for the other person. Reasons are conditions which when satisfied makes us happy. It just shows that we are in love with that reason and not the person. When we love the reason or that condition, we indicate that we are loving ourselves instead and are trying to make ‘ourselves’ happy; not them. This is the same as making use of them to make us happy; but the reality is that we need to fill our own voids first before we can truly love someone else for who they are. It’s even more scary when we choose to love for a reason and then over time those reasons vanish; and we’d find ourselves hating that same very person. We know this when we use words like, ‘I loved the old you better’. But this is not the end of it all; it’s just one of those jump starts we need.

~HOW DO I LEARN TO TRULY LOVE SOMEONE?~

This might be a question, that haunt somebody for his entire life. But he/she never realized in their life, which was in front of them, they should have seen the love for themselves. It’s easier said than done. Learn to love yourself first without going outside for love. When you truly love yourself you will be able to truly love others.


My great apology to those who got hurt by this article or did not like it. This is completely individual thought and it can not be generalized. And yes, If you have any doubt about any chapter, please do not hesitate to comment, I will try my maximum to clear my views.